Every time I think I have found the worst show on television, another comes up and hits me in the neck, in the same way a dart hits the outside of a dartboard except without a dart. In this case, I am referring to my plan to write about Nickelodeon's "Hijinx," the show that lets parents play practical jokes on their kids, kind of like the old "Candid Camera" except not remotely funny. My dislike for this show primarily centers upon the fact that many of these young kids are dumb to begin with, in which case a practical joke is not necessary. The joke could simply be replaced by a parent-to-child comment like, "You are a fool and I don't like you," which would cause the child to cry and ponder his or her existence. Then the parent could laugh a few days later and reveal the joke, only after the child has gone through hours of therapy at school, as provided by the school bus driver. Now this would be a show worth watching... Another show I dislike is "Super Nanny," one of many shows on television to utilize a big adjective to make up for its less than stellar effect. This is a very similar show to "Nanny 911," "Fanny the Nanny," and of course "Killer Nanny From Outer Space." In "Super Nanny," a hired nanny -- in this case a super one with a British accent -- is brought in to fix a messed-up household. Unfortunately this nanny does not wear a cape, which makes the "super" aspect hard to understand. Second, any household that feels it is so broken that it needs to bring in a televised super nanny really just needs to start over. It's not hard: just rewind a few years when the decision to have kids first came up and change "Let's have kids" to "Let's make a sandwich." Granted, some needy network will probably pick up the show "Super Sandwich" to capitalize on this decision, but that concept would get boring after a couple of years of watching some big guy spread mustard on bread... Finally, there is the newest show of the unwatchable nature in the form of FOX's "Unanimous," where the network has trapped several strangers in a location without clocks and entertainment. Granted, without entertainment there is no need for clocks, but I am sure FOX will constantly add drama to this show by making sure one of the people yells out, "Ah, I need a clock! For crying out loud, what time is it?" and then someone will always respond, "There are no clocks, man. They took away all the clocks." This exchange of words would be funny only on "Hijinx" and maybe on "Super Nanny." The difference between "Unanimous" and other bad shows is that the former is giving away 1.5 million dollars to the person chosen by all of the others -- unanimously. However, TV producers need to realize that viewers don't want to see strangers trapped in a room with each other because it will take too long for them to become annoyed. How about stepping it up a notch and trapping a family in one room? Or better yet, take a class reunion and announce they are all trapped in a room for three weeks -- now that's drama. Regardless, this whole set-up of trapping strangers in a room must be what television networks do on a regular basis in order to produce horrible shows like these... But I digress. |
